Jokes!!!


 * A lady had some fish in a bag and so to give them more air she blew into the bag.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it."

In class when students say to me, "Are you Serious?" My reply is: "Yes...like the brightest star in the night-time sky, I am Sirius!"

Q: Can you guess the name of a first year natural science college student who scored one "C" and 4 "F"s in five courses? A: Carbon Tetra fluoride.

Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

Gravity is a law. Lawbreakers will be brought down!

Q: Does light have mass? A: Of course not. It's not even Catholic!!!

You enter the laboratory and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it? If it's green and wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.



Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? A: The 'wave'.

Q: What is uttered by a sick duck? A: Quark!

Q: What is an astronomical unit? A: One helluva big apartment

A hydrogen atom came running into a police station asking for help.... Hydrogen atom: "Someone just stole my electron!" Policeman: "Are you sure?" Hydrogen atom: "Yes, I'm positive" Policeman: "Oh, I thought you were just being negative again."

Q: Why is electricity so dangerous? A: It doesn't conduct itself.

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated physics concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information." "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.

1st Retiree: "Well, they finally arrested Hurricane Frances." 2nd Retiree: "What for?" 1st Retiree: "Littering." **